He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
