I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
