dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
