you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
