it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think my fart just growled at me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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