that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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