New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dear god my vagina.
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