I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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