I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
