She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
