Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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