cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
