I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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