is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My vagina just recognized that song.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
