I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
