i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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