i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Randomize
