I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
