I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
