Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
