just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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