i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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