He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
