You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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