just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
