Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
