She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
