Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
