so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
