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Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
