stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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