She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
