The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
