Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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