i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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