it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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