whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
