she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
