were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
