Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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