so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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