Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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