Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
