wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
