Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
