its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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