Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
