Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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