wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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