So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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