Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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